The many blessings of African American heritage are rich, strong, and deep.   Like the roots and branches of an old oak tree, the magnificence of Black folks’ ways  always remains despite weathering.  When I look at the pictures memorializing the life and legacy of Mary Elizabeth Bailey, I think this was a regal Black woman whose touch was strong, rich and deep.  I say this not as someone who sits on the perch of those who knew her personally, but as someone who knew of her in and through her progeny—her granddaughter, Michelle Bailey-Hedgepeth.    

For approximately two years I worked with Michelle and learned a lot about Miss Mary from her.  It wasn’t necessarily that she shared any particular thing about her grandmother per se, although she did talk about her from time to time.  Rather, I learned that Miss Mary had great love for her family and this legacy of love for family showed in many ways and was reciprocated.  Both Michelle and her grandmother were able to show their love and care for one another through many acts—two of which I came to appreciate was letter writing and knitting.

The value of the handwritten letter lies within the love language of time and care. We are in an age of expectation and immediacy.  If someone needs to communicate with another,  the normal course is via email, a quick text, or maybe a phone call.  Writing to someone—thinking about them, taking the time to put words on paper, to buy a stamp, to select an envelope, to travel to the post office to mail it— is a deliberate act of love. A letter, before the content is even read, has already said, “I care about you. You matter. You’re someone special to me.”

I cannot say how often Michelle wrote to her grandmother but I know it was often.   There were several occasions when she offered to take my mail with her on her way to the Post Office.  But what struck me was her regular commitment to send a note to her grandmother.  These notes may have been in response to an event or circumstance or they may have been simply to say “Nana, I love you.”  But for whatever reason they demonstrated to me the abundance of love Michelle had for her grandmother which, I suspect, was something she also learned from her grandmother during her youth.  Certainly letters were exchanged and what a wonderful gift for Michelle and her daughter, and future generations, to have the handwritten letters from Miss Mary. Like a time capsule, they will always be able to look back to see her handwriting, to read her thoughts, and to appreciate the love she had for them.

The other thing that struck me about Miss Mary was her skill and detail in knitting.  She probably made many things for Michelle, but I remember the most beautiful, detailed and stylish wrap she made for Michelle that appeared in the office one day and then became a regular fixture.  Any attempt on my part to describe it would minimize its beauty but I will say that it was almost like a buttoned down shawl— colors complimentary to Michelle’s skin.   What was so great about the piece was it was handmade with love by her grandmother.  The choice of the colors, the stitches and texture, the history.   When I first saw it, it immediately threw me back to one of the earliest pictures I remember of Sojourner Truth.   She is sitting next to a small table with knitting needles on her lap.  And as a youth who grew up in Maryland, I know that knitting was at least a part of my upbringing but it didn’t stick. But how lucky for Michelle.

I suspect Michelle is always reminded of grandmother when she wears that knitted piece and others her grandmother made her. Not only does something like this have a practical benefit—yes, it will keep her warm—but also, it serves as a historical, personal and emotional purpose.   An heirloom for her daughter, Sophia, no doubt.  The entire family will always be reminded of the warmth and love Miss Mary had for her family to style such a work of art.  And something, along with the letter writing that reminds me, that reminds us all, of times past and the richness in our culture.  

Thank you Miss Mary for sharing yourself and your granddaughter.  May you rest peacefully in ancestry. Gone but never forgotten.