I didn't have the pleasure of knowing Mr. Payne. But I do know losing a loved one affects us all the same.  It's painful.  For some the process is fast, and for some the process is slow. I'd like to send my condolences.  Sorry for your loss. Something  that may bring you comfort during this time is meditating on the promises in Holy Bible.  Revelation 21:4 talks about death being removed.