My thoughts and prayers, Liv.
My heart goes out to you in this time of distress. One source of hope and comfort that has helped me is God's word the bible. It brings out that Jehovah God hates death, he views it as an enemy. 1Corinthians 15:26 promises, "And the last enemy, death, is to be brought to nothing." This is such a beautiful promise to look forward to along with being able to see our lost loved ones again. (Acts 24:15) Please accept my warm condolences.